


Hanging out

by Supertimewizard



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Depression, Gen, Hanging Out, I don't know if the relationship will be plantonic or romantic, I guess..., More tags to be added, Other, Reader Insert, Reading, and by reader I mean you?, gender neutral reader, just a chill time, meant to be just a short fun thing but I might continue it, mostly - Freeform, others are mentioned briefly - Freeform, possible mentions of the reader being bipolar, we'll see
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-05-11
Updated: 2017-05-15
Packaged: 2018-10-30 14:52:55
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,909
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10879104
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Supertimewizard/pseuds/Supertimewizard
Summary: It had become a routine. You'd come every week on your day off and hang out silently.What happened? Why did you stop?





	1. Reading in Levi's office

It was Sunday again. Everyone had the day off and were either doing their own thing or hanging out.  
You were alright with everyone else doing that but it wasn't really your thing. Not now at least.   
You had been reading in your room most of the day trying to keep your mind off things.  
The little idiosyncrasy's in life, like how most of the time during your day off you desperately wanted company but detested being dragged into activities.  
You had sought out Armin a few times over the weeks, hoping he would be in the library and that you could sit down next to him in silent company.  
But unfortunately for you Armin actually hung out with Mikasa and Eren during his days off.  
That's how you found yourself stupidly a Levi's door. Desperate for some kind of attention or company but having no one except a boss that you never talked to outside of basic greetings.  
You took a deep breath, book in hand and knocked on the door.  
"Come in." You heard Levi say through the door.  
You hadn't exactly expected Levi to be here but you couldn't say you were exactly surprised all the same.  
He was sitting behind his desk probably working. Poor guy never had a day off as far as anyone could tell.  
"What do you want Cadet?" He asked you looking up for a second before returning to his preassigned task.  
"Oh, I uh, I was just- um, I was just wondering if I could just hang out with you? Read, ya know." You said as best you could. Holding up your book slightly as explanation.  
Levi looked up at you as you silently started mentally preparing to be turned away.  
"Don't you have anywhere else to be?" He asked.  
"Not really, no." You said.  
"Tch." He responded gesturing to a couch at the side of the room before getting back to his work.   
You walked over and sat down. Opening your book, thankful for the company.  
You alternated from reading, to staring at the wall, to sneaking glances at Levi and wondering if he spent every Sunday in his office.

-x-

At some point the hours had waned on and the call that dinner was ready came to your attention.  
You both walked out the door to the messhall.  
"Levi?"  
"Yes brat?" Levi said looking at you.  
"Thanks for letting me hang out with you." You said.  
Levi considered this for a minute before responding, "Anytime."  
You nodded slightly, both of you walked to dinner in silence.

-x-

And hence it started becoming routine. You came by next week just as nervous and curious as before but eventually you both started settling into it.  
He'd sit and work and you'd read.  
You'd never speak but it was rarely awkward if at all.  
I think Hange came by one week but nothing happened worth mentioning.  
You had only asked one question thus far,  
"Hey Levi? Do you work every Sunday?" You had asked just as this was starting to become a weekly thing.  
"Yes." He had responded. Not even bothering to look up.  
You two had left it at that.

-x-

It was about two and a half months later when you put down your book and looked at Levi in thought.  
He had become one of your favorite people over the months, it was nice having company that didn't ask questions or was constantly chattering.  
You stared at the wall and Levi before the urge to write hit you.  
You sat up straight, "Levi? Can I have a piece of paper and a pen?" You asked urgently. You had to get all these thoughts out on paper before they disappeared.  
Levi looked up at you surprised, before grabbing a piece of paper and pen, putting them on the opposite side of the desk.  
You sat down across from him and started writing.

-x-

Y/N was writing god-knows-what on that parchment.  
Good god- her writing is so fucking tiny.  
"Tch." I sighed slightly, slamming down another sheet of paper next to her before her hand started cramping from how fast and small she was writing.  
Nothing else really happened that day but there was a slight interest as to what you had suddenly needed to write with an impressive amount of urgency for something that couldn't possibly be that important.  
Important things were mailed and all letters went though me and Erwin.  
Levi discarded these thoughts as soon as they came as you both walked to dinner. As was routine. 

-x-

It was ten in the morning when Y/N usually showed up if she had slept in but nothing happened and it was starting to put Levi on edge.  
You showed up every week without fail but not today...  
Levi tried to discard the thoughts, 'They don't have to show up and hang out with you, you know. They don't have to tell you if they aren't going to show up it's not a set thing.' He thought, trying to fill out paperwork.  
Eventually Levi came to temptation and started walking towards your room, knocking on your door when he came.  
...


	2. Why?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> *Possibly triggering!* I don't really know but just in case! Just usual depression and worthlessness. Nothing major but just in case!   
> Also song lyrics! haha

"Y/N?" Levi sighed.  
'This is stupid.' He thought to himself rapping his knuckles on your door. 'They're a perfectly capable cadet and don't have to hang out with you. Stupid.'  
"Brat?"  
"Yeah?" Came your answer from behind the door.  
Levi felt a small rush of anger, why were you here and not in his office with a cup of tea? Was it him?  
"I'm sorry that I didn't come by today." Came your voice.  
Levi wanted to make a smart retort but there was something slightly unsettling in your voice.  
"Cadet? May I come in?" He asked taking a chance that felt right.  
"Could I even stop you?"  
"Nope!" And with that he pushed the door open and stepped into your room.  
You were laying in bed in your regular uniform dress, just staring at the ceiling. Arm hanging over the edge.  
"Brat?" Levi asked slightly concerned. This wasn't exactly normal for you as far as he could tell and he knew, this could be a sign of someone who was depressed.  
Not always. He had seen several solders that were depressed and active but there was usually a noticeable split.   
"Are you okay?" He asked taking in the state of your room. It wasn't dirty but it wasn't exactly lived in either. Save for a few books and pens on the dresser and a set of papers scattered around.  
"Tch," He muttered, straightening that paper and waiting for your reply.  
"Not really." You said halfheartedly.  
Levi felt sadness at your state. It just wasn't rig- it wasn't you.  
Not really. You were quite at times but not sad.  
"Anything you want to talk about brat?" He asked cringing inwardly at his awkward choice of words. Before turning his attention to the paper in front of him.  
He recognized it, it was from last week.  
It was a scrawl of one of the sadder things he had seen in recent history.  
*I'm bigger than my body*  
*I'm colder than this home*  
*I'm meaner than my demons*  
*I'm bigger than these bones*  
He looked away, "Y/N, why? What's going on?" He asked genuine concern hitting him as he sat down next to you.  
You sighed, "I'm tired."  
"Why?" He asked. 'Was someone giving them a hard time?' He wondered.  
"I don't know. It just happens. I had it coming anyways. I'm just- me." You said shrugging.  
"Meaning?" He asked knowing where this was going.  
"Just- me. Stupid, worthless. Etc, etc..."  
"Oh Y/N." Levi said, wrapping you up in what may have been the most awkward hug of your life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I might do more/alternate endings and shit. I don't know.


	3. No, it's not. You just don't get it

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warnings for suicidal mention. The reader, you are not suicidal in this situation but it is brought up briefly because I couldn't think of anything else and it's 1:30 now. So just in case! Trigger warnings!  
> It has a happyish ending? I don't know. No death at least!

You placed your arms around Levi, returning the hug but not really bothering to respond further.  
"It's alright-"  
Levi's hold titaned around you slightly.  
"No. It's- fuck, Y/N, you shouldn't feel like that and try to pass it off as normal or fine." He said with his usual conviction.  
You shrugged into his hug.  
"I don't know." You murmured. Your words not really having any meaning.  
"Why didn't you say anything? Despite what you might think I am here for you." He said.  
You titaned your arms around Levi, slightly desperate for human contact now that it was here.  
"I-" You started before you started choking and subsequently coughing. You broke the awkward hug, pushing Levi away slightly to cover your mouth and you blamed yourself for being so stupid as to talk.  
Levi put an arm around your shoulders, nodding as you looked down at your knees under the covers.  
"Don't feel inclined to talk until you are completely ready." Levi said.  
You nodded vaguely losing some of the will to sit up.  
Levi pulled you back down onto the bed with the same sureness that you had become so accustomed to over time. He always knew what to do, even in his soul it seemed.  
You and he laid on your unmade bed.  
You being thankful that he was here in a way and also knowing that Levi probably hated the state of your bed.

-x-

Y/N and I laid down on her bed. I hoped they'd trust me enough in time to tell me what was bothering them and also that they might trust me enough to make their goddamn bed.  
Did wrinkles spawn from this bed?  
I desperately wanted to make the bed but forced myself to stop twitching and stay still with them.  
I looked at their face, examining it for the first time since I entered the room.  
It wasn't tear stained or bore any marks of crying but it was very sad- bordering on complete depression and hopelessness.   
They hadn't the will do get up out of bed today and here we are! Laying on this godforsaken wrinkle-bed.  
It was a little while before they opened their mouths and a few minutes before speaking.  
"You just want to make the bed, don't you? 's probably all you've been thinking about." They said smiling weakly.  
I wanted to smile at how well they knew me without knowing me. Yes, they were totally right and it was incredibly enduring.  
"Yeah, you're right." I spoke rolling onto my back next to them.  
Y/N nodded before sitting up.  
I raised an eyebrow at them.  
"I think I'm done here. I don't think I want my superior- fri- well, laying in bed all day. I-I can do other things." They said speaking quickly and quietly.  
"Are you kicking me out?" I asked. Voice a bit sharper than intended, woops.  
"I- No? I mean, if you want. I just- why are you here? I mean, it's not like we had a set thing so..." They asked furrowing their eyebrows. Lost in their own thoughts.  
"Routine." I answered simply.  
They nodded, "Right..." They trailed off.  
"Are you suicidal at all?" I asked abruptly causing them to jump slightly.  
"I-I-No! What? Why would you ask that? Have I been sendi-"  
"No. I've just had a few solders over the years that were depressed and then suicidal. I thought I'd ask." I said. Cutting them off.  
They nodded before muttering, "I'm not depressed."  
"Then what are you then?"  
"I don't know, I just- Lose it sometimes. I'm happy for awhile and then the happiness and creativity stop and I'm left with nothing." They trailed off.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know. I thought I wouldn't continue this but I don't know. This is my fic that I ALWAYS work on at midnight.  
> And yeah, the titaned this was totally intentional. I'm a sucker for lame jokes, what can I say?  
> Sorry for ending the chapter as such a weird spot but I HAVE to go to bed. Have you ever had a moment where you're staying up late and everything is fine and then you feel like you have to sleep or you'll die? Having a moment like that now. Goodnight in the present and to anyone else, whatever day and whatever time! Goodnight when you go to bed and I wish you a wonderful rest!

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading. Would anyone like me to continue and if so, in what direction?  
> I mentioned bipolar in the tags as a possible backstory/foreshadowing. I don't know.  
> I don't plan to add chapters on my own but I wanted to keep the option open!  
> My tumblr is: https://supertimewizard.tumblr.com/


End file.
